Madness and Misery
by Princess Antanasia the Vampire
Summary: Post Spirit Bound. Rose is going insane in her white-walled cell, as she predicted she would in Shadow Kiss. Now a Three-Shot. Does that exist?
1. Madness and Misery

**AN: Ooookay. This can happen two ways. I can leave the rest to your imagination or I can continue it. Let me know in a review! It's also in a bit of a different style than I usually write, so let me know about that, too. Love you all, more than anything else in the world!**

Tears. Their presence felt unfamiliar. There was not much distraction to be had; I was doing a large amount of reflecting.

Reflecting on running. Running from an unknown threat.

Reflecting on meeting. Meeting he I was destined to come to love.

Reflecting on killing. Killing that which was already dead.

Reflecting on losing. Losing that which I cared for.

Reflecting on condemning. Condemning he who had wronged me.

Reflecting on sex. Sex with the one person who meant more than anything to me.

Reflecting on fighting. Fighting for many innocent lives.

Reflecting on leaving. Leaving all that was known to me.

Reflecting on more killing. Killing what I loved.

Reflecting on love, life and the experience that exceeds my years.

I wanted to die. Die, curled up in the corner of my miserable blank- walled cell. My white- walled, empty cell.

_Let me die._

_Let me die._

Yet my heart still beat and my lungs still drew oxygen.

I still felt the spiteful pain of his rejection.

I still felt the sinister hope of his defense.

I was alive.

I remained.

Alive for nothing but a cruel dream- desire for salvation.

_Let me die._

_Let me die._

Left alone with only the insanity- inducing walls of my prison.

I courted with Misery. With Misery I danced. With Misery I sat, though Madness tried desperately to be at my side instead. Maybe it was. Maybe my foes, Misery and Madness, sat by my side, poisoning my mind. Hand- in- hand they slowly killed me.

Noise.

Loud, rude noise interrupting my date with Misery.

Loud noise.

It hurt my used- to- silence ears. I clasped my hands around the exquisite pain; it was a lifeline thrown into the Misery- Madness Ocean.

Pain.

"Roza."

A voice. A person. A male person.

"Roza."

One person.

One person had only ever called me that wonderful abomination of a nickname.

"Roza, look at me."

One person.

One person that while I drowned in Misery and Madness, I could not recall.

Movement.

Lovely pain; my stiff muscles cried in joy with the movement of my neck after being immobile for so long.

Blinding beauty.

At that moment I swam from Misery and her sister Madness towards shore.

Sanity.

I inched towards the bars in the likeness of a tentative animal approaching something foreign.

Pain.

It was not my own, however. In Dimitri's eyes I saw it.

Dimitri.


	2. Misery

**AN/ So after much deliberation, this one-shot is on its way to three chapters, as Rose tackles Madness and Misery separately? Can she do it? Review as always. I love you people to death. Whenever I have a bad day, I just go look at the story reviews for my fics and I feel much better. You guys rock.**

**Disclaimer: I'm going to curl up in a ball and cry if you make me say it. I... (sob)… don't… (sniff)… own…(Wail)…VA! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh!**

Dimitri.

"You."

Noise.

I made noise.

My voice still works.

"Roza,"

He must be addressing me.

_He_ is addressing _me_.

Me.

Us.

We.

"How are you?"

My wasteful existence means something.

I no longer want to punish my lungs for drawing stale breath.

Because he cares how I am.

"Dimitri."

Even my ears almost did not hear me.

"Roza. My Roza."

I was alive.

I remained.

His Roza.

Now, I could swim. I could see through the murk of Misery. I could see Dimitri. I beat it. No longer would I allow Misery to blind me. If only for Dimitri.

Dimitri.

I stepped another inch towards the bars that kept me captive.

Slowly.

Slowly.

I approached him hesitantly. He noticed. He is mystified. And hurt.

He hurts.

Misery fogs over my eyes.

He hurts.

No.

It cannot be.

I will not, even broken as I am, allow him to hurt.

But he knows I am scared.

"Dimitri."

My voice is soft and welcoming. He looks pained, yet relieved.

"We've already been over this. I'm Dimitri. You're Rose."

It takes me too long to realize that he has attempted humor. Too late I smile. I try to force a laugh, but I have forgotten how.

"I missed you." I whisper in a voice low enough to not pain my ears.

Pain.

Hurt.

Tears.

Dimitri was crying. It was unnatural.

Madness had won. It had beaten me.

It was insane for Dimitri to be crying.

I reached out to touch his face. I slip my hand through the bars and cup his cheek.

It is wet.

Madness has not yet destroyed.

"Oh, Roza… I'm sorry that this is happening to you."

What was he sorry that was happening?

He means my being locked up, not my courtship with mental foes. He doesn't realize. He does not care enough to realize.

My heart beats.

I breathe.

Yet I die.

He does not care.

_Let me die._

_Let me die._

"I am sorry that this is happening to me, too."

He is wounded by my caustic – I was capable of caustic! – words.

_Let me die._

_Let me die._

"Rose–"

I am no longer Roza. Just Rose. Misery creeps into my vision.

Again I feel the burn of his rejection. I move my hand from his face, which is colored with confusion. I am sending mixed signals. I press my face to cold iron.

"I love you, Dimitri."

I recoiled, awaiting a rebuff. But it didn't come.

There is sweet pressure on my mouth.

Kissing.

I am kissing Dimitri. Just like I used to. Only this time, there are bars that we must kiss between.

"Oh Dimitri." I whispered.

He touches my hair.

Take that, Misery.


End file.
